At Their Best:
Imaginative, authentic, intuitive, creative, deep, and emotionally honest.
Self-absorbed, hypersensitive, impractical, self-conscious, moody and unsatisfied.
What Type Fours say about themselves:
- It is most important to me to individuate myself from other people.
- I express myself in my own creative and authentic way; I am not like the others.
- I am highly specific about what interests me, what I like, and what I dislike.
- It’s not uncomfortable to me to express “negative” emotions like frustration, disdain, or disgust.
- Finding myself and being true to my emotional needs have been extremely important motivations.
- I like having more refined tastes and sensibilities than most people.
- I have emotional depth and I indulge my moods – even (or especially) the dark ones.
- I am withdrawn and mysterious; I long for someone to recognize my specific intrigue.
- I feel both uniquely special and uniquely deficient.
- I have an appreciation of the drama and mystery of the world.
- I would be horrified if people I care about thought I was ordinary or boring.
We each feel that we must show up in a certain way in the world in order to deserve love.
These are internal messages that resonate with Fours:
BASIC FEAR: That they have no identity or personal significance.
BASIC DESIRE: To express themselves and their significance (to manifest their identity).
BASIC PROPOSITION: “You will feel loved, whole and complete if you can find the ideal love or perfect circumstance.”
AVOIDANCE: Being seen as ordinary, boring, or mundane.
FOCUS of ATTENTION: What is missing.
- Positive aspect: The ability to improve the world with unique creativity, artistry, or insightful observation.
- Negative aspect: The tendency to allow themselves to wallow in melancholy, suffering, and frustration.
Strategies For Growth:
- Take a pause and observe your inner focus of attention with as little judgment as possible. Ask yourself, in what ways do I experience a sense of longing or envy? How do I focus my attention and energy on what is missing? Remind yourself to appreciate the wholeness of the present moment with gratitude.
- Avoid putting off things until you “are in the right mood”. Commit to productive meaningful work, even if it is only one small step at a time.